Saturday, January 24, 2009

Out of the Mouth of Babes...

Good Evening,

Just a quick note. Many of us received Christmas cards and correspondence from elementary school kids. Some of these children had no problem asking whatever was on their minds. They wrote, we wrote, and they wrote back. It has been a joy to have that communications with these kids. They have made us laugh and made us cry and their child like insight has often times given us a reason to pause and remember what is important in life. Well, Bryan received a letter today from a very astute seven year old girl who sent Bryan the following letter. It may be hard to read but it says the following.

"Dear Captain McFarland, Hi this is laura again and I am wondering if you can tell me a little bit more about your life and your family? I also caught a spelling error..." (on your last letter) "You spelled sweat instead of sweet when you were talking about your daughter."

Out of the mouth of Babes the truth is revealed.

Few things can assault your ego more than a seven year old correcting your spelling. Bryan is now in remedial spelling and english classes. He will not have the opportunity to be on 'Are you smarter than a 5th grader' as he hasn't even got past a second grader yet. He has to have all of him medical dictations reviewed by a seven year old before we can approve them for record submission. Bless this young lady and I hope her future husband realizes what he is getting into as she is unlikely to take any flack from anyone. :0)

Andy on the left, Bryan on the right.

Secondly, Andy, who is one of our family practice physicians is being sent to an artillary unit somewhere in the middle of nowhere. He will be there to provide medical coverage for this unit's soldiers. Please pray for him as this mission is not without its dangers. It is important to note that Andy is a practical joker and at some point has gotten everyone of us. He took my clothes one night when I was showering and left me with nothing but underwear. Our showers are in our clinic, so I had to go out to the front desk in my boxer-briefs and ask my medics for some help. Yes, they took great pleasure in my humiliation. He took Bryans hat and sewed his captains bars on sideways and Bryan wore his hat with pride not knowing that he was looking a little silly. I was on my Army email when I called called to see a patient. I didn't close out my email and while I was gone, Andy wrote Dr. Baez and told him that he had been extended in theater. As this type of information is generally filtered through me, it seemed to be official to him. He then sent Bryan an email from me and told him that I was developing feelings for him. Bryan and I have been friends for years but we are not that close. So, we had to take action prior to Andy's departure.
Andy leaves early in the morning, so he has packed his bags. I sent a few of the guys on a mission and had them take Andy with them. Meanwhile, I convinced the supply sgt. to give me a key to Andy's room. I took all of his underwear out of his bag and replaced them with some very nice, soft, and extremely attractive women's panties. Not the granny panties but the waist cut, bikini type of panties. I am quite sure the the Artillary boys will love their new doc. Please do not feel sorry for him as this is a most appropriate payback for his juvenile actions. The rest of us are, of course, above such childish behavior. Yes, this is your tax dollars hard at work.

Listen, I pray that you are all well and that the fills you with His Spirit. God Bless you.



beeceem said...

Thanks Jeff I think there's still some of my self-confidence remaining...wait no that's pretty much gone. Maybe you can make sure my little girl knows that her daddy can't spell and a little 5th grader had to correct him. I guess I am truly not smarter than a 5th grader. Thanks for reminding me.

Jeff said...

No problem. It is how I roll. A good laugh at others expense is a real mood booster for me. And besides I am not the one who is being corrected by a second grader. I am just a reported. I report the facts as they are. At the end of the day, I am doing you the favor by making you a better person. NO, NO, don't thank me just know that I care.

Jeff said...

I mean reporter. Oh, my goodness your spelling deficit has infected me. If I check in at the front desk would you see me and give me something to get rid of this problem?

Mary DeLucio said...

Ok you two, I seem to remember a certain note left by a certain someone (then CPT now Major) to another someone(then 1LT now CPT) about wanting to room together during AT and thinking someone looked pretty cute with their "Orbitz like white smile". Just because the signature was stamped on it by two ingenious nurses, doesn't mean it wasn't true :)

Geez we miss you guys!